Emery recently asked me to pray.

In cursive.

Mommy, will you pray for me in cursive?

I’m pretty stumped on that one!

Here is my conversation with Emery, otherwise known as Daddy’s Little Helper, from this morning:

E: “Daddy, can I get you anything? Do you need any help?”

J: “No, thank you, I am all right.”

Me: “Emery you can get your backpack and go ahead and get in the van.”

E: “Mommy, I am not your helper, I am Daddy’s helper.”

Me: With somewhat of a huff, “Emery get your backpack and get in the van. Now.”

Sometimes, we moms are just chopped liver!

Lately, my kids have said some of the most humorous phrases I have heard in all of my life as a mommy. Check out my last post if you are curious!
I thought I would share the latest one from our oldest child.

We have a new neighbor friend who lives next door. She is a couple of years older than Parker and they have been playing quite a bit since she moved in. She usually makes it to our front door several times a week. This is new for us because our part of the neighborhood does not have many young children. So, they have loved having a playmate.

She was sharing with the girls about another girl who lives up the street who “is not very nice.” (her words) She informed Parker and Emery that she has hurt her before and that she is so mean and could come and k*i*l*l them, she is real, not pretend and only lives 2 streets up. (I did not overhear this pleasant conversation so I am retelling what my 5 year old relayed to me. Needless to say, it would have been nipped in the bud, quickly!)

Parker came in to tell me about this conversation. She puts her hands on her hips and with a fierce sense of righteous indignation says, “Mommy, I told _______ (friend’s name) that girl is not going to hurt us because God is the Destroyer of Evil.”

Me- “God is the What?”

P- “God is the Destroyer of Evil.”

Me- “Well, yes He is, Parker. That is a great job telling _____ about God.”

She runs out and I had a good ol laugh! She just called evil what it is and informed her friend that it is no match for God. I felt like shouting “Hallelujah, can I get an amen?” I actually learned a new pairing of words because I had never really thought of God in those specific terms. But, its growing on me and I really like it!!!

Parker is evidently learning some attributes of God at school and is using them in appropriate situations!

I am sure that most of you mommies have heard about the latest recalls from Mattel including some Polly Pocket and Barbie dolls. If not, check out the above link.
Now that my public service announcement is done, I have to share a funny story from my middle child involving said, recalled Barbie and Tanner doll.

A few weeks ago, I was in my kitchen cleaning up and Emery comes in with a panicked look on her face.
She says, “Mommy, I blowed my nose and it still won’t come out.” Me, thinking she needs a little help blowing her nose, grabs some tissue and help her blow her nose.

She says again, “Mommy, de poop is still in my nose. De poop is in my nose.”

I must admit, I was clueless as to what she could possibly be talking about, because surely my child did not just say, “the poop is up my nose.”

I ask with total bewilderment, “Did you put something up your nose?”

Emery replies, “Yes, Mommy. De poop is up my nose.”

At this point, I am beginning to understand that something foreign has been placed in her nose and I will get it out and ask questions later.

I get my tweezers out of my makeup bag and begin to fish in Emery’s nose for whatever it is up in there. It is hard. I am totally perplexed, so I basically push on the top of her nose and out comes some poop.

Dog Poop.

From the Barbie Tanner Dog.

That has been recalled.

Now, why we bought our children a Barbie doll that trains her dog with treats that miraculously come out the other end as, poop, I will never know.

I was just so thrilled that she really did have poop up her nose and was telling the truth!!!!!

Nana: Parker, go in yonder and get your shoes.

Parker: Nana, where is yonder?

Parker, my oldest, has always been a talker. She started talking after her first birthday and pretty much hasn’t stopped. In the van, she will ask questions about everything she sees. She is currently trying to master the past tense of words, so she’ll say things like: holded, gotted, hurted.
It is really fun to watch how she is growing up!
Jason had a great interaction with her the other day. He was praying with her before bed. She says the following, so proudly:
“Daddy, I know you love me, Emery and Bradley more than nothing”
These are the days we will miss!