KellyStewart.org

I think as parents, we all have days where we feel challenged, tired, irritated, frustrated and like a complete failure.  We react in a way we wish we could take back, do over or are pleased with!

A few weeks ago, we had parent classroom  nights at the girls’ school.  They were on separate nights and I went for Emery’s class and J stayed home with the kiddos since we are fairly familiar with Em’s teacher! (Parker had her last year- the blessing of having your kids back to back!)  I am so thankful I went because it was a great reminder of why our children are at their school.  I can only say that it is truly a GOD thing.  I needed this reminder.  I needed to hear the things I did to confirm in my heart why I drive 20 minutes one way to take my kids to school, why I pay for them to go to school and why God has chosen this place for them to be educated.  Again, this is a year to year decision for Jason and I.  We pray, we seek the Lord’s direction and we step out in faith.  HE has been faithful and has given us a vision for our children’s future.  And that it worth more than the dollars we spend.

I want to say that I don’t think there is one education solution for every family.  I think it is ridiculous to think that God has chosen a path that each family should take in regards to educating their children.  I think it is a matter of prayer and discerning for each family.  All I know is that each one of us will be held accountable for our faithfulness in teaching them the Word, teaching them His ways, His precepts, His commandments.  I don’t rely on my children’s teachers to do that, but I do know that they come alongside us to uphold the Word.  Their job is to teach them reading, writing and math, but their calling is to teach each student to be like Christ.  My job is to teach them reading, writing and math as well!

Back to my original post BEFORE i went on a little side trip.

Mrs. F began discussing how she handles discipline.  Her one rule is BE KIND TO EACH OTHER.  The kids had made a big list of offenses and rules and it all came back to being kind to each other,so that it her one major rule.  She told us her classroom rules are not for specific behaviors but address matters of the heart that need to be addressed as a Christian living in relationship to God.

They are Lying, Rebelliousness, and Open Defiance.  When they are caught in these behaviors, she applies the three R’s.  They are to Recognize, Repent and Restoration.

To me this makes so much since in handling discipline, defining what is punished and why, based on Scripture and then a plan for how to deal with it.  I thought this might be helpful to others, as it has been to Jason and I.

Lying:

Proverbs 12:22 “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal faithfully are His delight.”

Rebelliousness: Having or displaying a rebellious attitude.

Psalm 78:8- “And not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation.  A generation that did not prepare its heart, and whose spirit was not faithful to God.”

Open Defiance: (Disobedience) This is addressed on 3 levels in Scripture.

Family- Epehesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

Jesus’ Example- Philippians 2:8- “And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming OBEDIENT to the point of death, even death on the Cross.”

Christian Walk- 1 Peter 1:14-15 “As OBEDIENT children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you to be holy yourselves also in all your behavior.”

I know as a parent, an offense can have different consequences, but I am often all over the place in administering the consequence.  I love having a goal in moving them to understanding and hopefully, a change in behavior, not to please me, but to be obedient to Christ.

RECOGNIZE: Help the child recognize what it is specifically that they did wrong.

REPENT: or ask forgiveness for their behavior.

RESTORATION: Pray with them restoring them to fellowship with one another.

Sometimes, kids need to feel bad for their actions.  They need to feel the pain of hurting someone else.  They need to know the sting of what lying lips can bring.

YET

They need to understand that they have a Savior that will redeem them, forgive them and restore them to fellowship with the Father.  Or their brother…. sister….friend.

Of course, we needed this little discipline lesson very quickly after hearing it!  The JOYS of parenthood……

Last week, I picked the girls up from school and was met with a very animated Parker.  Here is a glimpse of our conversations…

P: “Mom, a boy in Mrs. M’s class, a first grader has a crush on me.”

Me: “He does, well how do you know he has a crush on you?”

P: “Because we were standing outside of the bathrooms at break and his class came out and he kept looking at me.  Then, he wiggled his eyebrows up and down, winked at me and did this….” She proceeded to show me the move, which proved this boy, had a crush on her.  She did the double, fingers pointed like a gun move and winked… I about busted out laughing on the spot, but realized that this was not a good move, so I smiled and said…

Me: “Well, what do you think about that?”

P: “It is embarrassing, He is in first grade and he won’t stop looking at me….”  She proceeds to tell me he is a new kid in the 1st grade and we talk about being kind, being a friend….yada, yada.

Of course, I set her up to tell the story to her daddy and had to fight even harder not to laugh when I watched him trying not to laugh.

Then, the next day…. same scenario of her getting in the car.

P: “Mom, you know the boy who is in love with me?”

Me: Taking a moment to collect myself before I open my mouth, “Parker, love is for grown ups, but yes, I know the boy you are talking about.”

P: “He followed me around the whole time on the playground today, so Z and JW told me that they would take care of it for me. (these are 2 precious boys in her class, so I am awwing on the inside thinking how they are looking out for their friend…..) They were going to tell him to not bother me anymore and you know what they did? They brought him right up to me!  I should have known I can’t trust them!” (Laughing on the inside.)

Me: Thinking I wish I had a video camera at this moment… “Well what did you do?”

P: “I ran away and Y and I started playing on the monkey bars.”

Me: “Parker, remember he is new and to be kind to him.  You can talk to him, NICELY, and tell him you are playing with your friends.”

P: “I know mom, it is just so embarrassing.”

Of course, I set her up to share this bit of story with Jason.  SOOOO funny.

He goes straight to the he is not in love with you talk with her…..Such a dad.

We have had several more incidents with this younger boy.  She seems to be handling it well, but she is SO EMBARRASSED.  That is her new word.  I am quickly seeing how fast it really all does go. Never in my wildest dreams did I think my 7 year old would be dealing with “crush.”  Jason and I talk a lot about what characteristics and values we want to develop in our kids.  We dream big for them and pray that we are bringing forth the personalities and talents God has given them, helping them learn more about Him.  I was struck again, how if I dream big for my kids, desire for them to live out a passionate, bold, faithful walk with Christ, then that is exactly what they need to see their parents doing.  I fear I talk the talk A LOT, and sometimes, walk the walk a little more slowly.  My biggest fear as a mom is that they will look back and think, My mom loved God, but she didn’t put her feet behind all those lessons she was teaching us.

I am reminded that they are growing up… growing wiser…. growing stronger….. growing little minds….that think for themselves…..that make choices….

I pray I don’t fail them……..

Yesterday was a wierd day. It was one of those days when I got way too arrogant as a parent, not just once, but twice.

Last month, Emery went to the dentist, as many of you recall, and I experienced one of the funniest hours of my life. Well, yesterday, she was scheduled to go back to get MORE CAVITIES filled. That’s how we Stews roll- Come big or don’t come at all! SO, needless to say, Emery came BIG with the cavities.

We went back to get her “sleepy juice,” aka the stuff that wigs her out! They take her oxygen levels and they are less than stellar. I am not surprised because she has had a rough couple of weeks with her chronic cough/we refuse to label it asthma. So, they call in the dentist and he listens to her chest and sure enough, she is wheezing, slightly. At this point, I am shocked, because as bad as her cough can get, she was doing amazingly better. We were on the upswing, not the wheezing phase, at least, that is what I thought. I was not surprised that they wanted to wait to sedate her until another day. I had thought that may happen, so I had brought her uniform for school. So, off to school we go!

I received several phone calls from the school that day. One for Emery to have her inhaler, which I had given to her before we left. The next, to ask if she could have it an hour later, which she could not. Third to let me know she is not feeling well. As the great mom I am, I think she is totally milking getting to walk to the office and get our of class. I talk to her and when I brought up dance class today, she informed me she was doing okay!

At this point, I am convinced Jason and I are going to have to have a conversation about when it is appropriate to go to the office for medication! I am convinced she is fine.

Yeah, she pretty much is home with a fever of 100 to 101 today.

Next, I failed miserably with the oldest child.

Parker’s birthday is next month and let me just say- do whatever it takes to not have a baby in the month of December. It is just crazy. Period.

So, I am trying to plan her birthday around several of the following things:
1. Our schedule- Jason has lots of work stuff in December.
2. Not on a weekend to spare everyone else’s schedule.
3. Accomadate most of her friends.
4. Not spend hundreds of dollars.

So, I came up with the idea of having it at the pottery studio close to school and painting ornaments. We would do it in the afternoon and it would be GREAT, SO FUN, SO CONVENIENT and would be economical. I am sold. So, I walk Parker through it last week and she wasn’t totally convinced but then decided she was cool with it. Score one for me for figuring it out.

I booked the party yesterday and she hears me over the phone. I let her know I have just scheduled her party and go on about how much fun we are going to have.

Yeah, she pretty much, burst into uncontrollable sobs because she did not want to have her party there. It would be awful and she did not choose to have it there, she proceeds to tell me.

Now, I have the joy of either forcing my daughter to have a party that she does not want to have,to make it easier on me and everyone else OR come up with another plan.

He chooses my children to humble me on an almost daily basis.
How have your kids humbled you lately?