I had an experience yesterday that caused the fierce mother bear in me to come out. It is long, so sit back and take your time. Parker and Emery have been wanting to grow their hair out, like every little girl wants. So, since last fall the hair growing has been going on. Parker has begged for months to have a ponytail, like her momma, and it had finally gotten long enough to have one with no clips. Now, let me just say that as a mom to two preschooler and a baby that hair is not high on the priority list, so a ponytail is like a fancy up do around here! Well, it was time to get a trim, as this is where my story begins.
I had found this precious little girly salon to take the girls to go get their hair cut that was designed for kids. Parker has been dreading getting her hair cut because it is always dramatic. Bless her soul, she has a double crown and her hair is curly. In one spot. Underneath. The rest is straight. Yes, one curly spot, that makes me dry her hair, because if not, she looks like she has something growing from underneath. And even after drying, it can still look like that. So, I call my sister and we decide to do a big day of hair and manicures and pedicures with our girls. My nieces are 4 and 8 and we will leave Bradley with a sitter and have a fun, girly day. I talked it up BIG to the girls, I mean, HUGE fun day with the cousins.
We arrive at the salon and all I have heard on the way from P is please don’t let them cut my hair short. No way honey are they going to cut your hair short. I may have forgotten to mention that Parker’s hair grows slow. Like dial up slow. SLOW. SLOW.
SO, they get in their chairs and I get Emery settled and I turn and tell the stylist for Parker that she just wants a trim, blunt cut across the back to even it out and I tell her it is curly on one side. She wets and cuts it and blows it dry and it looks awful because there are pieces of hair longer on top and it is uneven. I ask her to cut it the same length on top as underneath and she apologizes and tells me that her back is sore and it hurts to bend over. So, she re-wets Parker’s entire head. Recuts. Drys. Same results minus an inch or two of lenght. I show her this one spot that looks longer and she tells me she will blend it. Okay. Next thing I know my 4 year old has layers. I.E. her hair is short and no longer will go in a ponytail. Needless to say, I ask her to stop cutting. She takes off her apron and leaves the building. GONE.
Parker is just excited to finally get a sucker and get her nails done. I am seething. I mean I have not gotten this upset in a long time. Now, you may be thinking it is a little girls haircut. And yes it is, but to me, it was my sweet girl’s look of disappointment after seeing her hair short. She had a goal and she met her goal. Now, her hard work has been given layers.
Needless to say, the manager decides to cut Parker’s hair for the THIRD time. In the chair, she is crying, because she does not want it any shorter. She is not very nice, nor does she apologize. She tells me it was a misunderstanding and all she can do is make sure the haircut is correct. The haircut I did not ask for. She cuts more layers. TO her it was a $14 haircut for a 4 year old. For me, it so much deeper.
I saw that in situations where I should extend grace and mercy, I usually do. WHen it involves my kids getting hurt and then extending it, I have a long way to go. I wanted a great day for my girls. And for the most part, they had a great time. Mommy, on the other hand, struggled.
Life truly is only 10% of what happens to you and 90% how you respond. I was able to sit with Parker and talk about how when things happen that we don’t like, we can be upset, but still honor Jesus. Then, we have to move on. This was my way of moving on. And the email I sent to the store today. Help me Jesus, to love others without conditions. Help me to not demand justice for myself. Help me to bring Glory to Your Name.

Bradley is such a great baby. I think God gave me an extra measure of grace when he knit Bradley together, knowing how I needed a good sleeper, nurser, temperment! He has become a rolling over king the past few days while in his crib. He sleeps on his belly, don’t tell my pediatrician, and has discovered how much more fun it is to turn over and look at his mobile. How sweet, I know you are thinking, and it is. But, at 4:30, 4:40, 5:00 and 5:15 in the morning, it is a bit trying. He is now stuggling with naps due to his newfound skill! I really wanted to be taking a nap right now, but since I have already been in his room 5 times, I am giving up!
I had my bible study girls over today. Our normal sitter had to work, so we had 9 kids upstairs in the playroom, or roaming around! I love having people in our home and hanging out with other women. I am so glad I am a girl because it is so fun to talk and hang out with us! God was so smart in designing our need for fellowship. It truly is a blessing to talk about our faith, our trials, our families. So, find a group of ladies and share some life on life!

I titled the last post as swimming because I was going to write about our evening and then went on a tangent. We swam at our small group last night and it was fun. Parker loved getting thrown way up in the air by her dad. Great fun.
Ever since I graduated from Grad school, I have not wanted to read a serious book. I read countless pages during the course of my 100+ hours of graduate study. How wierd am I? I want mindless, clean reading that does not cause me to think a whole lot. My brain is probably shrinking by the hour due to the lack of stimulation. Does watching “So you think you can Dance” and deciding who I think is the best dancer count? I hope so. I love having deep, meaningful discussion, or listening to a sermon, but I have resisted reading. Maybe I should ease into it. John Piper scares me but I am planning on starting my first Piper book. I think. I am afraid after all these years he will fly over my head! I guess the only way to know is to try!

My mom and dad are going to take the girls later this week for a few days. I am so thankful that mom is feeling more like herself. She had a triple bypass in April. Is it terrible that part of me is excited to only have one child with me for a few days? I sometimes miss the freedom of not having to get three others ready before I can leave the house. Or, sleeping late. Or, having to fix everyone else’s meal before mine and then they are done eating before I sit down. Al Mohler recently wrote an article about chosen childlessness. He wrote it was a sin, because we were commanded to be fruitful. Many today are choosing to not have children because they don’t want the burden or responsibilty. Interesting, huh? I love my kids, but I am tired of how many Christian mom’s are afraid to say there are days that they struggle with being a mom. I have a couple of friends who to me will talk honestly about the tough days, but when in a crowd, it is a bed of roses. It makes me sad. It is hard to be selfless and it is a daily ritual of dying to self. I love my kids more than I ever dreamed. They drive to the brink of insanity some days. I am more than a mom. Being a professional mom is my calling. I don’t want to work with preschoolers at church. I will work with preschoolers at church when I am needed. They joys of motherhood far outweigh the trials.

Sunday, Sunday. I truly try to get to church on time, really, I do. Yet, it rarely happens. Jason has to leave early, so I am soloing it to get the kids and myself ready. This morning, all was going well. The girls did great eating breakfast and putting on thier clothes. Bradley slept long enough for me to shower, which is always good! I got in the van at 8:55, church starts at 9:00. SO, just a little late. We live two miles from church, so I wheel in at 8:58. Then, the dropping off begins. Parker goes to our Preschool Worship, Creation Celebration. Have to sign in, tag her, hug and kiss and we’re off to the Preschool Hall. Have to go to the sign in desk for Bradley. Get a tag, take him to the nursery. Put him in a bed, relay his schedule, when he naps, on his belly, when he eats. Hugs, Kisses and we’re off. Emery is the last one. Sign her in, tag her, put her over the gate, hugs and kisses, she puts her arms out for more, so more hugs and kisses. Walk to the sanctuary. Of course, it has began. They are through most of the “worship” time. I tried, I really tried! Maybe next week!
Parker talked about forgiveness today and they had the kids write out a note to someone they need to forgive. She wrote, by herself, with help for spelling, “Emery I forgive you for hitting me. Love Parker.” We smiled at that one, because best we can remember she was the latest hitter and Emery was the hittee! Well at least she has a forgiving heart!

Yesterday, I took a Pilates class at the Y. I thought it was a great class and knew I was working some major muscle groups. Today, my abs are sore! Yeah! I am glad it was a class full of women, though because you definately do some wierd moves. But, I will go back again. It is a nice. low impact workout. Last night, Jason got home a little later because he had been playing golf. Our evening was really laid back with the kids. He and I recently had a discussion about how we can too often “keep score” of who has gotten to go do something. I went out with my mom and Kim, so he gets to go play golf. Or he went to play golf, so I get to go shopping. We talked about how we did not want to operate that way. We both love time together and with our family, but we also need to extend grace and give each other free time.

We have been having some issues of discipline and obedience with our oldest. Lately, she has not been doing well following the instructions of our small group sitter and today she struggled at the Y. We have been going over the verse with her that says, “listen to instruction and be wise.” (I forget the address. No wonder she struggles!) She can be determined and persistent, which does not always go over well if she is not doing what is required! Jason came home for lunch today to have a talk with her. She is such a daddy’s girl. He hasn’t been home the last few evenings and it is evident in her attitude. I am praying for the day when she self regulates her behavior. She’s on her way, but there are days…..
I am striving to be more disciplined in my life. In doing chores on specific days, shopping, laundry, my quiet time at the same time, prayer. The list is long. I am so thankful that God is long sufferring! I know there are so many times He has been patient with me, disciplining when needed and giving me consequences. We have a saying to the kids, “obedience brings blessing, disobedience brings consequence.” I hope I am consisitent in bringing the blessings and consequence!

Nine years ago today I was a bride! I remember all the excitement, anxiety, joy and fear of that day. I still love our wedding even though there are things I would do different now. I would have registered for different dishes since mine cost way too much and are now out of style. I would have insisted on seeing what my cake would look like before the actual day. I would have taken communion. There are things I would do the same, as well. I would still marry Jason, obviously, at my home church and kept the reception the same. All in all, it was an amazing day.
Nine years later, I have three kids, a mortgage, a dog that deserves more attention, a dreaded mini-van, good friends, only a few more pounds (I did just have a baby!) and a great life. I feel so blessed.
Jason and I had a great time last night on our date. We went to Bonefish Grill and saw Ricky Bobby at the movies. Quite the funny movie. We also only got one frantic phone call from the sitter. She could not find Emery’s blanket for bedtime, so I pointed her in the right direction. We got home close to midnight and then our babysitter and her sis stayed til after 1 am. I am a little tired, but isn’t everyone!

This morning I spent time with my friend, Beth Moore. She was on the tv, but alas, we were together! I got alot out of her message this morning. She spoke on believing we can do all things thru Christ. She spoke from Joshua 1:1-9 when Joshua was given leadership to take the Israelites into the Promised Land. She stated that two obstacles they would face would be fear and discouragement. Discouraged is from the the hebrew word, HATAT, which can refer to be demoralized. She explained that this is where Satan figures out who we fear we are and sets out to confirm it. WOW. He takes those secret fears and pounds us with it whether we feel incompetent, immoral, an unfit mom, a poor wife, a nobody. He takes those insecurities and sets us up to have it confirmed in our lives. God promised that He would never fail us, leave us, abandon us. Even when I fear I will fail Him, He reminds me that He will never fail. Our responsibility is to be strong and courageous and to hold onto the Hand that is holding us. I want to hold tight to His grip on me.
Yesterday I had a great day at home with the kids. We ran an errand, yes, just one, but it is a start! The girls played so well together and B took two long naps. We had swim lessons and Jason and I worked out. Tonight we are going out for our anniversary which is tomorrow. YEAH! Nine years together. Not nearly enough for me. I am still so excited and thankful to be married to him. He is such a source of strength and encouragement to me. God is good.

Last night we told our small group we were birthing a new one in September. That is churchy talk to say that we are stepping out to start anew. Our small group has been such a blessing to us and a true community. Our prayer for fellowship was answered through this group. When we started Jason told them that we would only be together for 18 months, and then we would multiply. Well that time has come. I am excited, but nervous. Doing life with people can be scary, especially if you are just meeting some of them. God so knew that we needed a group of people that would love us and walk with us, without stress! I am excited though, truly, no joke. Our church is growing like crazy, thank you Jesus, and is in need of new groups. When I tried to complain to Jason about all the transition in our lives, he commented that this is what we were called to: to be leaders. Sometimes that is hard. I pray God will bring us a group that is unique and in need of community that we can pour into.
I added a new picture, but it is scary, so I will add another.
Also, you can link to Jason’s sermon from last week.